I believe that the best couples are often people who imagined their perfect guy/girl entirely differently. Some of my closest friends who are happily married, were surprised to find that their dream of the ideal mate fell to the wayside when they met their spouse. That guy who wasn’t their dream look, didn’t have their idea of a dream job, didn’t live in their ideal location, turned out to be their dream husband.
This morning, I read this success story on the online dating site, Frumster.com. I am sharing it with you because I think it’s important to keep an open mind as to the person you might end up with. Let me know what you think!
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Cynthia and David
Dave contacted me in December 2008 through Frumster, explaining that he was contacting me not because he thought we were a good match, but because he admired my profile, and wanted to wish me well in my continued search. Dave was very supportive and genuine, and I wrote back that I really appreciated his giving me encouragement. I thought that would be the end of our communication, but I heard from Dave again, and within a month’s time, we were talking on the phone. We enjoyed talking to each other on the phone, and joked about meeting each other, but Dave was hesitant to come to CA to meet me because of the reasons he thought made us unsuitable for one another: A) We live 3,000 miles apart. B) Our familial/religious backgrounds are very different (I am a convert to Judaism). C) I want to have more children, and he is “ready for grandchildren.”
From January 2009 to June 2009, we had occasional phone conversations, and became friends, both supporting each other through disappointing events and sharing information about our lives and histories that were quite personal. In June 2009 I called Dave fully expecting to wish him a “mazal tov” on an engagement, as he had been dating a woman close to home with whom he seemed to be an excellent match. However, the relationship did not work out, and the phone conversation was humorous and lengthy, with Dave expressing his joy related to his son’s recent engagement and the fact that I called him. He wondered out loud why he did not just get on a plane to CA to meet me. I said I thought we should meet, and over the next few weeks, we talked daily on the phone, shared more pictures with one another, and finalized plans to meet in CA on July 23, 2009.
During the above phone conversations, Dave said he knew that I would be very good for him, and I came to an awareness that Dave was the nicest guy I had encountered while dating after my divorce and that I felt like he truly cared about me. Our differences were beginning to melt away as we discovered that we share the same core values and want basically the same things out of life. Also, we felt very comfortable with one another. Dave said he would actually want to have more children with me, and I could imagine making adjustments in my religious observance and moving to NY because Dave is worth it.
We met, and discovered that we had excellent chemistry, genuine trust, and respect for one another. On a subsequent trip to CA, Dave met my son, Micah, who has autism, and was not deterred by this challenge. I also met Dave’s children, and the children and other relatives met each other. On Dec. 23, 2009, Dave proposed marriage to me at Tea Fusion restaurant in Brooklyn. Our wedding will be on June 13, 2010 in Brooklyn, NY. We both feel extremely fortunate, blessed, honored, and happy to be with one another, and are excitedly anticipating our lives together as husband and wife. We are very grateful to G-d, Frumster, and friends and family who supported us along the way. I am living proof that a 40 year-old convert to Judaism with a disabled son can find the man of her dreams.
Over a year ago Dave told Cynthia she would know her prince charming when she found him—he just did not know it would be him.
Cynthia hopes the above story will inspire others to keep trying, especially when the search for one’s soul mate seems discouraging and even hopeless. Continue to have hope and be the best person you can be. Wonderful things can happen!
