It’s important to have a road map for most things in life. Dating is no exception. Yesterday’s post outlined the first five dating tips for successful dating. Here are the next five dating do’s.
6. Do ask your date if they have your five non-negotiables. Asking clear questions can pre-qualify a date in the first few minutes of a first conversation. Don’t waste anyone’s time by making assumptions and not checking if your date is a potential mate. Non-negotiables include things such as a desire to have children, willingness to convert, love of travel, and/or anything that really matters to you. Never assume and don’t put off asking important questions.
7. Do increase your fulfillment as a single person. Don’t put life on hold while you wait for Mr. or Ms Right to show up. The perfect partner should add value to your life, not BE your life. Be your best soul mate first. Love will follow.
8. Do be ready for a committed relationship. If you have any legal, financial or emotional unfinished business, you should not be dating for a long term relationship. It’s okay to date for fun, but be clear about that with your date. If you are still thinking about a recently ended relationship, whether it is a divorce or a death, you are not yet emotionally ready for a new commitment. I recommend waiting a year after the end of a long-term relationship before seriously dating. If you have legal or financial issues, clean them up before getting involved in a committed relationship. I recently dated someone who told me that after his wife died, he wore his wedding band on the first few dates with a new woman. Yikes!
9. Do engage in a fulfilling career. Work is a large part of your day. It is important to have a fulfilling career/work in order to be emotionally available for a committed relationship. Ask your date, “What do you love about your job?” I enjoy hearing that a guy loves making a difference in someone’s life through the work that he does. That shows me a lot about his integrity.
10. Do develop good communication skills. It takes courage to communicate well. To be a successful partner, you need to know how to express your needs and wants well. Many people I coach are afraid of rocking the boat and losing their mate, so they refrain from communicating what’s really important to them. They have more at stake when they don’t communicate. Especially if the fear revolves around communicating about your non-negotiables (see number 6). This can lead to a total breakdown in the relationship. Learn to communicate more effectively, both verbally and non-verbally. Learn to read facial cues and body language. Be aware of the non-verbal cues you are giving off. They speak volumes.
So, there you have it, the top ten do’s for more success in dating. Let me know how they work for you. And send me your dating questions for a new column, “Ask the dating coach“. Happy dating!
