Why do some people have success in finding a mate, while others are consistently frustrated with their dating experiences? The answer lies in the common mistakes daters make. Today, I will outline the first five of the top ten things you need to do for success in dating.
Top Ten Dating Do’s
(numbers one through five)
1. Do know why you are dating. You need to know why you are dating. Is it for friendship, social connection, sex, or finding a long term partner? You and your potential mate need to be on the same page. And the only way to know is to ask. I have heard countless stories of people finding out two years into a relationship that they and their partner were on totally different pages as far as level of commitment, willingness to have children, ability to relocate. Ask first, don’t regret later.
2. Do go in with eyes wide open. Most people don’t have a clear idea as to what they want out of a relationship. They spend more time clarifying their needs when it comes to a car purchase. Create a plan. Love doesn’t just magically happen. Knowing what you want out of a relationship will guide you to find what you want.
3. Do know yourself. The more you understand yourself, the more you can engage in a healthy relationship with a mate. Do you know your strengths and weaknesses? Do you have a defined plan for your own personal growth?
4. Do be truthful about where you are in life. Do you have a bachelor’s degree but only want a man with a master’s degree or higher? Are you unemployed, but are seeking a woman with a successful career? A couch potato seeking a mate who runs marathons? No one will rescue you. You want an educated mate? Become more educated. You want an active partner? Take up a sport.
5. Do know your non-negotiables. Clouded judgement can lead to compromising on your non-negotiables, which can lead to resentment and unhappiness in a relationship. Know your top five must-haves. Write them down. Then go out and look for someone who has all five. You may end up changing one or two as you see them in practice. But it is so important to know what your bottom line is.
Stay tuned for the next five dating do’s, featured on tomorrow’s blog.
