I just came from my Rabbi’s Friday morning Torah class on the portion of the week, “Beshalach”, in the book of Exodus. At the end of the portion, we read about Amalek, the force of evil that comes in every generation. Amalek shows up right after the Jews have left Egypt. After a 40 years (or 200 year according to some commentaries) enslavement, they have been liberated in a big way, wondrous miracles revealed to them as the Red Sea splits to allow them to cross. Moses. Once they get to the other side, they immediately lose faith, complaining that the water is bitter. Once again, there is a major miracle, where a tree in the water renders the water sweet.
Pretty cool, huh? But not for long, because soon they complain of a lack of food. They keep losing faith. It is a slippery slope. Without overt miracles, Gd’s presence is lost to them. They seem to rely on extreme external cues in order to stay connected to Gd. In comes Amalek to wreak havoc, an evil reminder that all they needed to do was have faith, look internally and connect to their souls. Without this connection, Gd must take action and send a painful wake up call.
To understand why we need these evil forces in the world, one of the commentaries, Rashi uses this parable: A father is carrying his son on his shoulders. The son says, “Dad, get me this, get me that”, and the father keeps on getting him those things. Soon, a man comes by and the boy asks him, “Have you seen my father?” The father looks up at his son and says, “Son, don’t you see me right here?”, and he angrily throws him off his shoulders. A dog comes by and bites the child. The child is rudely awakened to an awareness of his loving father, his protector, who has always been right there, carrying him the whole time.
It’s vital to remember the importance of faith, and what happens when we disconnect from our souls. We can never completely understand why things happen, and asking why is usually futile. The more important question is “for what?” In Hebrew, the root word is the same, ‘lamah’ means why, and ‘lemah’, a change in pronunciation alone, means for what. What are we meant to learn? How is this pain or challenge sent to refine me? That is the kind of questioning that helped me get through the loss of my firstborn son. The whys made me crazy in my head. Whys can point you to blame, accusations, or ruminative thoughts, circling round and round but with no true answer. The whats give me a sense of purpose and control (however elusive) over my destiny. I get to choose what I want to do next. I get to take responsibility for my thoughts and actions, and it is a relief to be able to do something when faced with such painful challenges in life.
While there may be external and internal evil forces in life, Amaleks in every generation as the Torah says, it is our goal to ultimately wipe out the memory of Amalek. And the only way to do this is to connect deeply to our souls. To tune in to the messages that our souls speak. Even when things are tumbling down, try to grasp onto faith and hope. Things will get better. There is a reason for all things that happen, good and bad. We may not understand those reasons, but we can put one foot in front of the other, and in the doing, we move through the darkness and into the light.
