In this electronic age, with video conferencing, webinars, teleconferences and the like, how does one determine when to have a personal face-to-face, and when to resort to the convenience of technology?
I recall marveling at the Picture Phone exhibit at the New York World’s Fair in 1964, a space-age contraption that felt like something out of the Jetsons to my 8-year-old perspective. This was my first encounter with the remote possibility of being able to see the person you are speaking to on the telephone. I didn’t think it would be a reality in my lifetime.
Flash forward 36 years to Skype, ichat, Googlechat and video chats have now become the norm. My 15 year-old daughter spends hours every day engaged in video chats with friends from camp and school. Social interaction is more important to her than food. I used to be upset that she spends so much of her time online chatting, often having conversations that I might consider to be of little substance. But that’s me judging her. I have come to realize that she needs this socializing, and she has the right to communicate in whatever way is meaningful to her. It’s not about me!
When it comes to communication at work, the debate about in-person vs. virtual meetings is a hot topic. In the movie, Up in the Air, George Clooney’s character tries to convince Natalie, a young innovative recent business school grad, that firing people in person is far superior to firing them in a video chat, her brainchild. The premise may seem silly, but it it was got me to thinking about the power of empathy in a one-on-one face to face encounter. Do we run the risk we run of disconnecting through technology?
My Life Coaching practice consists of coaching clients in one of two ways; they can either come to my home office, or I coach them by phone (or Skype). There are advantages and disadvantages to both. Yesterday, I began working with a new client who opted to come to my office for her first visit, the hour-and-a-half intake session. I like to provide tea and healthy snacks for this lengthy session, keeping the brain alive and active and adding to the ambience of establishing the initial coaching relationship. I also enjoy seeing a client’s physical responses to questions. It can sometimes provide important information about that person. The disadvantage for me when seeing a client in person is that I can become distracted by their visual appearance. I am so visual, and I sometimes find myself looking at a client’s sleek new haircut, admiring a pair of funky boots. I do pay very close attention to the coaching conversation, as I pull myself out of the distractions easily. But it is a distraction nonetheless.
When I coach by phone, I pay very close attention to the words being said and the words that are unspoken. I hear differences in tone, and catch inconsistencies between the emotions stated and the emotions hidden underneath the words. My listening skills are super charged over the phone. Disadvantage? I miss the human connection, the occasional hugs, the visual image of the person. Without an image, I am only coaching a voice. I have personally met all of my phone clients except for one. It is so helpful when I can put a face to a name.
The upshot? I think we need to prioritize and balance when we choose to meet by phone or video chat, and when an in-person encounter is essential. I talk to many friends by phone on a regular basis, but every month or so, I crave a face-to-face. I chat with many friends and colleagues on Facebook, but every so often, I want to be with them in the flesh and blood.
Thanks to the miracle of technology, I have ‘met’ people from around the world, one of whom, Martin Richards in Sweden, led to my role as a future presenter at the Global Coaching Conference this coming October. I love the possibility of reaching coaches all over the globe by phone and internet. Thanks to Skype and tele-conferencing, I will be able to launch my new monthly series of interviews of people living courageous bold lives.
How do you feel about the plethora of communication choices that are available to us today? Which do you gravitate more towards, Facebook or Face Time?
