There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.
John F. Kennedy
I love this quote. It speaks to my very core about living a courageous bold, truthful, and sometimes scary life. We encounter countless opportunities in life that require a choice, to pass on by or to engage further and take a chance. On my recent trip to Los Angeles, I had many feisty, spirited conversations, born of a willingness to take a risk, probe a little deeper into the human spirit, and enlighten my world just a little bit more.
From the guy who drove us to the car rental agency to the woman sitting next to me on the plane, I have found that by asking good questions and being a good listener, I have been given a window into people’s lives, into a microcosm of their world. However brief, I am a sucker for a good story.
Onboard my flight to LA, I found myself seated between two young women. The one in the window seat gave off a very clear message: leave me alone. Wool hat pulled over her eyes, arms crossed over her chest, ipod in ears, she immediately closed her eyes and slept through most of the long cross-country flight. The woman to my left was her polar opposite, engaging from the minute we met. A twenty-nine year old dark haired, olive skinned beauty, Candice and I immediately began a long conversation. I admired her courage to travel alone for several weeks, from her native Australia to South Africa, Egypt, New York and now LA. I listened to her story about her 12 year relationship with the boyfriend she met at age 16 (wow!), and was awed that she read two books on relationships to teach herself to be assertive about the pain she felt at his use of sarcasm and indirect communication. I wish I had her wisdom at such a young age. She worked for the government. What would she rather be doing? Dancing! She was a professional ballerina for many years, and made a conscious choice to leave the world of body image distortion and starvation and work for the government instead. I encouraged her to keep on dancing. As we parted at the end of the flight, she kindly retrieved my heavy carry-on bag from the overhead bin and rested it on my seat. What a poised and sweet young woman!
Jared, the guy who drove us to Enterprise to rent our car, was a recent college grad, a displaced New Yorker, who was ready to move back East. What would he rather be doing? Finance. We engaged in a lively conversation, comparing New York to LA. The unexpected bonus: He gave us an extra day at the reduced rate on our car rental!
On a whim, with time to kill before our flight, I had an eye makeup demo at Sephora in Hollywood with Ki, a beautiful young woman who first appeared stand-offish. I took a risk and started a deep conversation. When she found out that I was a life coach, she dropped her guard and opened up. I found out that she was an artist who quit art school to become a cosmetologist. She was struggling with her decision to quit art school, feeling guilty at the debt she had accrued and the subsequent choice she made to be a makeup artist. I coached her about her choice, and she was able to reach a new place of inner peace. She taught me how to do my own makeup, and I learned so much from her. We spoke of passion, college, dreams, and risks. She gave me a makeover, I coached her on past regrets. We both walked away smiling and inspired.
On the way back to the airport with Kellan from Enterprise, she shared about her recent graduation from college as a Sociology major. Enterprise provided a good salary and benefits, but it was a holding place until she could figure out her future. Unsure of her next step, I suggested that she look into life coaching as a possibility. The more I spoke, the more interested she became. I gave her my card and hopefully she will pursue a career in coaching as a result of our conversation. That would be cool! The bonus: she drove us all the way to the airport and saved us the $40 taxi fee!
Building relationships expands my horizons. I love finding out what makes people tick. Asking the right questions and listening closely will usually result in a fascinating discussion, one that would never happen if we were afraid to connect past the surface. I begin a conversation with total curiosity. I have no hidden agenda. The bonuses I received, the free makeover, ride to the airport, extra day at a discounted rate, were all surprises, the outcome of building relationship and connecting with someone else’s heart and dreams.
At times, I am afraid to take a risk. I feel I might impose on someone’s privacy. I am afraid of being shut out, or turned down. And I always regret not having the courage to take a risk, start a conversation, make a bold request. Better to have risked and been rejected than never to have risked at all.
What’s the riskiest conversation you ever had?
