I am so happy to see my Max! After three months of dorm life in the Mediterranean, my 18 year old appreciates what he has here in America. Walking around our neighborhood on Tuesday, he spoke to a squirrel scampering in front of him, “Thank Gd you’re a squirrel and not a cat!” (Israel’s cats are like rats, infesting the streets and alleys). He is grateful for his MacBook’s Garageband program where he records the songs he writes and performs, having been deprived of video and computer for three months.
Max appreciates all that he has here, because he stepped away from it all for a few months. His sisters are so excited to spend time with him because it’s new and special and they missed him. I crave time with him, to reveal the changes he has undergone in his time away. In three short months, he has matured in many ways. He taught himself to cook many tasty dishes, including chile flavored chicken cutlets and apple ice cream custard pie. He made many great friends, and he saw much of the beautiful state of Israel. His life has been enriched, but it was time for him to come home and not stay the year as intended.
Why is it so difficult to appreciate what we have? How many times do we appreciate our most cherished objects or people only after they are gone? I think we stop appreciating things and people when they are routine, part of our daily lives. We come to take things for granted. And it seems that the more we get, the more we want, and the less we appreciate.
One way to build in appreciation is to pause and take a step back. Separating from people we love, such as our children or good friends, a spouse or significant other, can help us gain new appreciation for them.
I am lucky to have a weekly reminder of the beauty and importance of separation. Every Friday night, as I cover my eyes to light the Sabbath candles, I am making a separation from the hub and chaos of the weekday to the calm spirit of the holy day of Sabbath. When I reopen my eyes, it is a new day. A peaceful feeling comes over me, and I am grateful that I have a day to connect with my family and friends, to be unplugged from all things electronic, and to just be present in the here and now.
Another way that I separate is in my summer work in sleep away camp. I don’t see my two older kids or my friends and extended family for two months. When I return, the beginning is always sweet, and I cherish the time I spend with my loved ones. I am amazed at the luxury of my home after spending two months living in a single room, eating camp food.
How do you separate to appreciate? What else helps you appreciate the most important people in your life?
