It’s all about focus. Where we focus our energy determines how rich our lives are. In my practice as a Life Coach, I see many clients whose lives are jam-packed but whose focus is a bit off. They may be devoting an inordinate amount of time to a cause that is meaningful to them, and at the same time is zapping their energy. It might be taking them away from something more important, such as family time or time to develop their career.
This week, I balanced my time between my career, coaching clients and developing new coaching initiatives such as workshops and classes, marketing, organizing our synagogue’s women’s prayer service (that I also direct), my daily walk, attending classes in Jewish education, taking my dad to the doctor in Manhattan, paying bills, and taking care of my family. I also juggled a few other things that I am choosing to focus my time and energy on: daily writing and creativity and my social life.
When I take stock of my week, I notice that I spent two half-days on my social life. Both were spent on the Hudson River, the first in the north and yesterday’s closer to home. The Hudson is a beautiful, powerful river, and seeing it up close instead of from the window of a speeding car was a special treat.
On Tuesday, I walked across the Hudson Walkway, a bridge that was recently opened that spans the Hudson river, with someone very special to me whom I’ve become close to over the past month and a half.
On Thursday, I picnicked on a beach right on the Hudson River, with views of the cliffs of the Palisades as I walked the park trails with someone I had only met once but was curious to know better.
Back in August, when I made the decision to sign up for online dating, I was nervous about the process, even a little nauseous about being one of those who dates online, making up that it was a community of desperadoes, a bunch of losers who couldn’t get dates the old fashioned way. I wasn’t even feeling a real need to date yet. It had been two years since my divorce and I had been busy, building my business, taking care of my house, my kids, my life. The idea of adding a man to the mix was not yet so important. I needed time to reestablish who I was after divorce. And I worried that dating would take up a lot of my time.
Now that I am in the throes of dating, I realize how important partnership is to me. Finding the right relationship is a process, and after going through a divorce, I want to be careful to choose the right partner. Yes, dating does take up a lot of my time, but I am fully enjoying it. It is important to me, and it is where I want to focus a chunk of time.
I look back on my week and although it may look fragmented to an outsider, I feel my time has been well spent. There is a balance in the actions that I have taken throughout my week, a consciousness that I try to bring to all that I do. And I look forward to tonight, as the Sabbath begins, and I am able to focus only on family, eating delicious meals together, relaxing, catching up on sleep, and quieting my brain for some important self-reflection, fueling up for the excitement of the week to come.
Is your time well spent? How do you balance your time?
