I believe in second chances. Yesterday’s computer fiasco worked itself out beautifully once I disengaged from the problem and went to sleep. The fact that my computer issue resolved itself was purely a lucky thing for me. The part that I take responsibility for and that I could control was my attitude. I let go. I surrendered to what was happening and went to sleep, knowing that a good night’s sleep heals much of life’s trials.
Take two on my promise to myself to draw a leaf. Back in college, I used to love drawing more than most other form of art. Give me a good set of graphite pencils and I could be happy for hours, sketching the intricate details of almost anything. I could get lost in the seeds of a red pepper, the petals of a flower, or the lines of an aging face.
When I set out to sketch the leaf, the pencils felt foreign to my hand. It had been so long since I last sketched that it felt hard. My first instinct was to put the pencil down and take a photograph of the leaf for my post, i.e., do the easy thing. I don’t like doing work that doesn’t meet my high standards, so I can have some pretty strong negative self-talk going on up in the attic of my brain. If I wasn’t careful, I could have sabotaged any possibility of drawing and abandoned the whole project. However, I have done enough work on my saboteur to quiet his strong negative voice.
I simply noticed what was going on. And I continued to draw. I focused on the lines of the leaf; the shadows, variations in hue, rips and tears, bumps and smooth spots. And I got lost in the leaf. Not like I used to when I was drawing every day, but it started to become easier and more pleasurable to me.
While this is far from one of my best drawings, I am happy that I did draw, that I stuck to my self-imposed task, and that I worked through my sabotaging negative self-talk. This is such an important skill to have, and it was the topic of conversation with my clients yesterday as well.
What to do when the voices say you can’t:
1) Notice the negative self-talk. What are you saying to yourself? It could be, ‘I am not talented enough, young enough, competent enough to do such and such.’
2) Come up with a list of antidotes to combat the negative self-talk. For example, ‘I am not competent enough to draw with pencil anymore’ became ‘Give yourself a break. You are good at drawing, it’s just that you haven’t done it in 25 years. Take it one step at a time and let go of the outcome you were hoping for.’
What’s your negative self-talk? Come up with an antidote for it so that you can pull it out and knock the negativity right out of the ball park. Please share. I think we can all benefit from the transparent sharing of our sabotaging self-talk. And especially from what works for us to overcome the negativity. That is when our true power emerges.
