Bake banana bread, of course. My focus has always been on transformation. I am a ‘put out the fire’ kind of girl. I function best when things fall apart. I have no idea why, but I know that I consistently show up when others become stuck or frozen. This morning, after staring at rotten bananas for three days, I baked delicious banana bread that will warm the tummies of my family and friends. I had some for breakfast and gave a piece to my visiting nephew to take with him on the road.
I got a call earlier today from a client in crisis. Her fifteen-year-old granddaughter had lost her $1,400 computer, believed it to be stolen, and grandma was in a quandary about how to handle it. Should she go to the police and report it stolen? At best, she would recover only $400 after the insurance deductible of $1,000 was paid. At worst, she would have spent a half day at the police station for naught.
Grandma was very upset about the monetary loss and about the loss of valuable computer data that was not backed up. She acknowledged that her granddaughter has ADHD and cannot be fully responsible for misplacing her things. Yet, she felt that should be held accountable to some degree.
Bottom line:
1) She was angry at the school for not getting more involved in helping to find the computer and for putting the blame on her granddaughter.
2) She was resentful of the loss of valuable time that she might have to spend at the police station, perhaps up to half a day with travel time.
3) She was angry at her granddaughter for not backing up her files and for misplacing such a valuable item. This was the second time that this had happened.
I focused my client on the present, not the past or future. This is all we can control. I also had her look deeply within to see what feelings were present. What was her gut telling her? At first, she said she had no idea what to do at all. No gut feelings. But with some coaching, she was able to express her anger at the school, at her granddaughter, and most importantly, her resentment at having to spend the day at the police station. Once we acknowledged those feelings, I asked her how she would feel if she never went to the police. She said that would be worse. The ‘what if’ would haunt her. Now we were getting to some clear decisions that she was going to make.
I encouraged her to make this a teaching opportunity for her granddaughter, not a punitive one. Her granddaughter can’t help having ADHD, but she can learn strategies that will help her bypass this challenge. She decided she would brainstorm with her granddaughter new ways of learning to be accountable for her ’stuff’.
I also mentioned that many credit card companies will cover the loss of an item that you purchase by credit card. She hung up the phone with me and found out that this is indeed the case for her credit card company. They will cover the deductible of $1,000, the police report will help cover the other $400 from the insurance company, and all should be fine and well.
So, if life gives you rotten bananas, make banana bread, banana muffins, a banana smoothie. It can take many forms, and the important message is, just do something. Transform, recreate, find a new perspective. There is always a place to turn.
What do you do when life gives you rotten bananas?
